I came in about 20 minutes late to the show, and at that time I was under the impression that Ellen would be hosting. It turns out that was not really the case.

A performance of Ordinary People by John Legend, was the first thing I saw when the commercial break ended. I was already to hate the Grammy’s so that I could lampoon it easier for the sake of this writing, but I cannot hate when John Legend is singing.

Lucky for me they ruined the goodwill because they immediately cut to a performance by Sugarland and there is nothing like country music to make me want to make fun of people having a good time. The monitors were wrong because we heard people trying to make sure the mics were right (stuff intended for the band and the control room, but not the broadcast audience)

Best country album
Faith Hill
Alison Krauss and Union Station
Brad paisley
Gretchen Wilson
Trisha yearwood

I dont really knw the exact music in this category all that well, but I know of all of these people and I like AK&US the best, so I have no real animosity at this point.

Back from commercial and Bono tell s that U2 is not a rock band, but that “once in a while a song comes along like Vertigo that makes you want to burn your house down.”
What?
What a wreckless man, please folks do not buirn your houses down if you hear this song. And, if you are alone in your car do not set it on fire either. How can a man with such noble ambitions for the 3rd world speak so wrecklessly as to endorse/induce arson on a giant broadcast like the Grammy's. Shame on you Mr. Forgettable Fire Starter.

Then he humbled me: “One”
Mary J. Blige came out and did a duet and they had the word “one” on all the big screens behind them. See, the idea was to promote unity around the world, amongst people, so that the world can be a better place, becuase that is what Bono does, make the world a better place, with every fiber of his being, and every step he take, and every note he cries. He is a healer.
(and the focus of my new book: Dueling Jesus': Bono and older rich guys try to save the universe)
During this song Bono held the world’s largest green guitar.


Best rap album:
Be-common
Cookbook-missy
Encore-M&M
Massacre-50 cent
Late registration-kanye west

OK, it is probably too much to ask for Common to get this. At least fiddy didnt walk home with this.